Yom Kippur

Recently I realized that my problem was my understanding of what forgiveness is. In my mind, it was conflated with absolution or pardon.

Why do negative emotions generate so much more energy than positive ones?

There is much pain and suffering on micro and macro levels in the world today that if we are not mindful and do not understand the essence of the holiday, we could be easily disheartened.

The radio stations had gotten fuzzy in a stretch of the road dotted with farmland and so to make conversation, I asked: “OK, everyone. What’s your favorite Jewish holiday and why?”

Understanding that we are not defined by your mistakes is a good place to begin. Mistakes are not your identity. Mistakes are something that happens, not something you are.

Growing up, Erev Yom Kippur was a busy day. As the day wore on and the rush began, there were two very important things to do—and they were done every single year, no matter what.

Some problems can be fixed, and some problems can’t. Some problems have solutions, and some don’t. It’s not the problem that’s the problem. It’s how I look at and deal with the problem. It’s understanding that the difficulty is from G‑d,and it therefore has a purpose that’s sometimes beyond my comprehension, but somehow there to make me grow.

We all have layers that cover up the “real me.” There’s the image that we want to present to the world, the talents and traits we want others to recognize. And then there’s even the image that we want to project to ourselves, those layers that hide and distract from our core inner selves.

What am I doing on Yom Kippur reading kiddy books? I ask myself. Is this what G‑d wants from me?

Some people never ask for our forgiveness. They don’t show remorse, they don’t seem to care that they’ve hurt us, and they may even demean or belittle us for having been hurt. Why should we forgive them?

Over the years, through trial and error and discussions with many mothers, I have come up with a number of techniques that make Yom Kippur with young children not only survivable, but a meaningful and spiritual experience.

Sometime mid-afternoon when you’re feeling a bit peckish, this “spiritual sandwich” is sure to infuse your Yom Kippur with deeper meaning.

It’s not about looking to find an answer to “Why did this happen to me?” But rather, “What can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? How can I use this to change?”

Here is where things are really upside down. We have this false illusion that when someone gives money to someone else, the giver is the big hero, the generous one, the amazing one. And that poor, pathetic receiver . . . should just be grateful that someone felt sorry enough for him to help . . .

We have messed up, time and time again. We are too far. There is no hope . . . checkmate . . .

How could someone say that to me? I thought. I took cotillion as a child. I took etiquette classes in college. I was a classy lady . . .

Yom Kippur holds within it the very essence of the universe and of who we are. It brings together space, time and soul in one indivisible point that paradoxically contains every detail of existence. Yom Kippur is the “fifth dimension” that courses through both the expanse of the universe and deep within us. By paying attention to the way the day itself works, we can gain insight into this transcendent dimension of creation . . .

Every minute my child is in "time-out" I look at the clock, waiting for the time to be up. To me, two minutes feels like four and five feels like ten...

The road to reconciliation was closed and despite calls, a letter, more calls, going over there…well, other than a hello, or a sentence about nothing squeezed out of air, that was the last we spoke to each other...

What if I could install a toxic thought alarm in my head that had a similar progressive sequence? A negative thought about someone's behavior generates a beep. If I ignore that and then generalize it into a story I make up in my head about the motives, etc. of that person, that should then generate a call from the monitoring company...

The process of kapparot is meant to disturb. I identify with the chicken when I say, “this is my exchange.” I am forced to question: Am I respecting life? What is life? Who am I? What am I? Is there wildness in me? Am I a person of the earth, the heaven, or both? Am I free truly to live?

This year, I did not hear a rabbi give his annual dramatic speech about the fragility of life, and about our total dependence on G-d's mercy for that life. This year, instead, a microscopic virus flattened me down to the ground, so that I lived that Yom Kippur sermon.

Even the best among us sometimes speak or act before we think, hurt those we love, and fail to live up to our own potential. If we can own up to our mistakes, however, we can deepen the relationships most important to us...

Slowly the shelter came to life. My mother got up and prepared breakfast—a few crackers with some jam we still had left. But neither my two sisters nor my mother touched the food . . .

While my love for formal prayer keeps growing, I have continued my informal conversations with G‑d. And one day, I was struck by a contrast...

Although the Jewish year is filled with wonderful holidays in abundance several times a year—six, to be precise—we fast. Some people find fasting quite arduous, so there are some pointers that can help ease the fast-related hunger pangs.

Barring any specific medical conditions, some good planning and some practical coping techniques will allow most women in a low-risk pregnancy to manage a twenty-five hour fast without any complications to the pregnancy or risk to their babies...

A selection of recipes traditionally served at the festive meals on the day before Yom Kippur, as well as a few new recipes which are high in protein, complex carbohydrates, and/or other nutrients that will help you get through the fast . . .

How many times do I push off asking for forgiveness? How many times does pride get in my way? What if time runs out and there is no more tomorrow? What is it about us that we think that we will live forever?